The Santa Claus is Lactose Intolerant Card
The Santa Claus is Lactose Intolerant Card
The Santa Claus is Lactose Intolerant Card
Greeting Cards for Assholes

The Santa Claus is Lactose Intolerant Card

Regular price $4.00 $0.00 Unit price per

People are always leaving milk and cookies out for Santa Claus, and carrots for the reindeer... but let's be honest here, Santa could use a carrot or two.

And ALSO, he's lactose intolerant and literally nobody on earth cares. It's enough to make even Santa Claus hit a breaking point.

Christmas is fun. Send fun cards.


Paper: High-quality 100 lb card stock that's Forest Stewardship Council® (FSC®) certified. It's super clean bright white, smooth to the touch and has a beautiful, professional weight to it. I buy it from a distributor in Ontario to support local.

Size: Standard A2: 4.25 inches x 5.5 inches. 

Envelopes: Brown kraft paper, like the colour of a paper bag you might carry a bottle of booze around in. You don't have to lick anything as they're peel & stick, and they have a super strong adhesive so you don't need to worry about the journey you're sending them on.

Details: Every greeting card from Greeting Cards for Assholes is handmade in Canada with irreverence, a wildly unacceptable sense of humour, and an attitude that could definitely be improved. I print and fold every single card all by myself.

Oh, and all of the cards are empty on the inside, just like me.

Stock up on all our funny, made in Canada greeting cards, and send more mail! It's fun! 

(Reminder: shipping is free anywhere in the world when you spend $20 or more!)

Have a terrific day!