The Hallelujah Holy Shit Christmas Card
For this card, I present to you, my fellow asshole, some poetry:
"Hey. If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I'd like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here...with a big ribbon on his head! And I want to look him straight in the eye, and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-assed, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed, sack of monkey shit he is! Hallelujah! Holy shit! Where's the Tylenol?"
-Clark W. Griswold Jr.
ABOUT OUR GREETING CARDS:
Paper: High-quality 100 lb card stock that's Forest Stewardship Council® (FSC®) certified. It's super clean bright white, smooth to the touch and has a beautiful, professional weight to it. I buy it from a distributor in Ontario to support local.
Size: Standard A2: 4.25 inches x 5.5 inches.
Envelopes: Brown kraft paper, like the colour of a paper bag you might carry a bottle of booze around in. You don't have to lick anything as they're peel & stick, and they have a super strong adhesive so you don't need to worry about the journey you're sending them on.
Details: Every greeting card from Greeting Cards for Assholes is handmade in Canada with irreverence, a wildly unacceptable sense of humour, and an attitude that could definitely be improved. I print and fold every single card all by myself.
Oh, and all of the cards are empty on the inside, just like me.
Stock up on all our funny, made in Canada greeting cards, and send more mail! It's fun!
(Reminder: shipping is free anywhere in the world when you spend $20 or more!)
Have a terrific day!