The Santa Claus is Lactose Intolerant Card
People are always leaving milk and cookies out for Santa Claus, and carrots for the reindeer... but let's be honest here, Santa could use a carrot or two.
And ALSO, he's lactose intolerant and literally nobody on earth cares. It's enough to make even Santa Claus hit a breaking point.
Christmas is fun. Send fun cards.
ABOUT OUR PRINTED GREETING CARDS
Obviously this doesn't apply to e-cards which are high quality JPEG images with a resolution of 2000 x 2000 pixels, and you'll get an email immediately with an instant download link.
But if you're buying printed cards, here are the details:
Paper: High-quality, heavyweight 100 lb card stock that's Forest Stewardship Council® (FSC®) certified, with a super smooth, professional finish.
Size: Standard A2: 4.25 inches x 5.5 inches.
Envelopes: Brown kraft paper, like the colour of a paper bag you might carry a bottle of booze around in. You don't have to lick anything as they're peel & stick, and they have a super strong adhesive so you don't need to worry about the journey you're sending them on.
Details: Every greeting card from Greeting Cards for Assholes is handmade in Canada with irreverence, a wildly unacceptable sense of humour, and an attitude that could definitely be improved. I design, print, and fold every single card all by myself. Yes, actually.
Oh, and all of the cards are empty on the inside, just like me. And maybe you.
Stock up on all our funny, made in Canada greeting cards, and send more mail! It's fun!
Have a terrific day!
-Adam